by Meredith A. Brown
Founder of Pink Clouds & Hula Hoops
April 17, 2016
Exactly one year ago today, I was arrested, while sober, for a rather dubious charge…
Notwithstanding its questionable “legal” validity – I had to learn & own my part in this and many a fallout in order to cease the continuum of consequences that had become my life. After spinning under the disco ball of my bleak, barren Pity Party long enough to realize I was the only reveler (feather boa-donned at that), I knew I had to step up and claim it. Claim my “part.”
To keep this nutshell rather than biopic, my part – in short – was ego-driven self-seeking Queen Baby-esque (Thanks, Siggy!) motives. Painful embarrassing truth: Looking back, the debacle really boiled down to me just “needing” to be RIGHT. The proverbial petulant child having a temper tantrum – fists swinging & feet stomping demanding what I was so “rightfully entitled” to.
Who did I think I was?
Such silliness caused a nearly 8-month unraveling of & disconnect from my life with what (some days) still feels like an immeasurable rippling effect. A (hopefully temporary) derailment of my latest impassioned entrepreneurial endeavor in addition to financial, personal, health, social, creative, legal setbacks all resulting in a required “rebooting” of my life.
None of this is a “woe” is me. Opposite. I am crazy grateful for my life today. A relationship with my parents & family; my beautiful loving dog & companion; reconnecting with some of my oldest truest bluest (you know who you are DLN, CH, JAL, et al) not to mention the #LOML because God knows – a little romance never killed anyone. I have beautiful friends, fellows, mentors & mother hens in my program of recovery.
My heart is fuller than it’s been in a long time and keeping life simple today is one of the most important adages I live by – second to owning that part I have in everything, everyday. These philosophies & wisdoms sprinkled with generous offerings of gratitude & acceptance… Faith, love, HUMILITY, kindness, peace, possibility, hope, forgiveness, compassion & tolerance are the sparkly ornaments I choose, today, to hang on my tree of life.
Despite this idyllic “I’d like to buy the world a Coke” approach – I have some REAL crappy days (now & again) living life on life’s terms… depression, loneliness, mania, discouragement, defeat + plenty o’ ugly character defects. I stumble and have slipped… but, I am soooo fortunate to have a solution today. A way to get better; a way to be better.
The difference a year has made in me? It’s simple. Today – my life is about striving to DO the “RIGHT” thing rather than always insisting on being “RIGHT” – like that spoiled little girl with pursed lips, hands on hips & dark tangled curly hair HAD to be on April 17, 2015 and so many years before.
Thanks for letting me share…
Please exit through the gift shop.