by Meredith A. Brown
Founder of Pink Clouds & Hula Hoops
April 5, 2015
— Greetings! Here it is . . . a long time coming (throat clear, DL) – My Blog!
I thought about all the writing styles, approaches, angles and cute little wordsmith twists I could go with but I decided to go with one of many cardinal rules in recovery – K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, sweet).
There are many subjects about which I plan to “Blog” – generally with a running theme of my recovery (from chronic and severe alcoholism) and my dog , a Border Collie named ‘Journey’, who besides being the LOML and most extraordinary dog on the planet, is a symbol of my Journey in Recovery. Now – there’s some of that wordsmith-y kinda shit you can expect – often! Oh and yes, I curse here & there. Some of the best writers do… I only do so when my thought lends itself to a (melo-)dramatic tone or an emphasized or emotional inflection.
So – proceed with caution.
Ok – I am rambling . . . let me get to the point. I planned out the topic of my first blog entry a while ago but decided to go in a different direction in observance of my Five Months of Sobriety on April 7, 2015. Yes – I am just “coming back” — trudging forward & fighting the good fight!
On December 16, 2014 – the judge, from one of my alcohol-related legal issues, ordered that I wear a SCRAM bracelet. It is an alcohol monitor that is unsightly & uncomfortably bound around my left ankle. It gets “read” every two weeks by a computer and evidently shows any kind of intake/ingestion of alcohol and how long it was in my system. The latter being the clincher. Alcohol only stays in the system for any significant time if ingested by mouth (or any weird places the kids are sticking it these days – this includes vaping booze!) and goes in the bloodstream.
The Good News – the word “deterrent” to drink with this affixed to my body is an understatement. Some days this draconian-looking hardware from a RoboCop costume is the only thing between me and a drink.
The Bad News – if I slip, I go straight to jail — for a while!
Talk about Recovering Out Loud…??
Omg! This apparatus is like a megaphone to the world that I am in recovery! Lol!
I have a friend SC “in the rooms” who said to me that it was just extra padding from God ; a little extra protection between me & the real prison that is alcoholism & addiction.
As I reach five months sober (this time), I wondered if “it” REALLY counts with this monstrosity on my leg.
I decided it does. My friend SC was right. This ankle accessory is really my Engagement Ring from God.
He is doing for me what I cannot do for myself. He is keeping me ‘faithfully’ sober until I fully embrace that surrendering to him and his will is the only way for me to stay sober and have the chance at a beautiful life. Definitely a silver lining although I’d prefer the ring platinum with a diamond; it will stay put for a while. One day – rather being betrothed to God, a Higher Power of my understanding, I will be married to his will and his way of life. Maybe, then I’ll get the ring I always wanted – for now, just a really bad tan line!
Thanks for letting me share . . .
See ya next week, God willing.